How to Stick with a New Routine

I recently had to replace my vehicle, and I felt like a brand new driver.

This car was larger than my sedan, and I felt like I was going to run into everything near me.

It turned into a really rainy week, and I kept feeling for the wiper control like I was blind, my hand slowly feeling around the steering console.

And reversing!? Don’t even get me started. It was so nerveracking: Look behind, check mirror, double check the weird camera view, reverse 3 inches. Look behind, check mirror, double check the weird camera view, reverse 3 inches. An hour later, we made it out of the driveway!

Ha.

New routines are like driving a car for the first time.

Everything feels difficult and clumsy.

You question yourself. “Why did I even try to change things up? This is never going to work!”

The complaining starts from the backseat. “I liked the old way we did things!”

But. You decide to stick with the routine (I’ll tell you how in a sec.)

And all of a sudden, you look up one day and realize: I’m not paying attention to how I’m operating this vehicle! I mean, routine. It’s just…. Working.

The reason the routine starts to work is because you stuck with it.

Yes, you probably tweaked some things, just as you move your seat and mirrors a few times before figuring out exactly where you like them.

You may even have thrown some things out of the routine altogether, like those board games you thought would be fun but turned into a family nightmare.

But you persevered.

Habits can take a really, really long time to form. Some as quick as 3 weeks, but some take longer.

The key is to trust the time it takes.

But how?

You must have a preferred future in mind.

If you don’t have an idea of what you want your routine to do for you, then there is no way you will stick with it day after day.

Time to Develop your Preferred Future

• Remember the reason you first loved the idea of a routine. Was it the sense of order? The productivity? Some specific accomplishment? What?
• If your vision of the future has to do with your kids behaving a very particular way, like never complaining about chores or always picking up their clothes or reading 40 books on a summer list you created, then you need to release some control.
• What memories do you envision for this period of your life? For example, if you’re building a routine for the summer, what do you want to remember when you look back on the summer? Cleaning the house over and over again? Yelling at your kids for leaving the door open – again? Trips to the park? Actually having some real quality time with your family? Take the importance down on things that are not going to meet that goal.
• Have you had a conversation with your family about this preferred future? One person in a whole family trying to force everyone else into a vision is probably not going to end successfully.
• What is one measurable accomplishment you want to achieve in the near future? Maybe it is teaching your preschooler how to write her name or donating clothes that no longer fit you or spending 15 minutes reading each day. Focus on this one thing instead of on a large number of things.

Any routine you create should be a tool for the future, not another thing to do and keep track of.

These questions have helped me weed out unimportant things from my life when I start to get overwhelmed and stressed out.

If it is not serving its purpose, then it’s time to re-evaluate!

Tell me, what part of your routine is it time to let go of? Or, if you’re new at creating a routine, what preferred future are you after?